Vatican Unveils New Flag

Old Vatican Flag

(Vatican City) In a move which has stunned vexillologists around the world, the Vatican announced today that a new flag will soon be flying over the city. While an official statement regarding the reason for the dramatic change has yet to be made, it is rumored that the old flag, which bore the image of the papal tiara and the keys of St. Peter, was seen as too "triumphalistic" by Pope Francis.

Sources inside the papal household report that the Holy Father made the decision soon after discovering what the triple crown symbolizes. "We were sitting in the lounge, sipping Mate, and the Holy Father pointed to the tiara on the Vatican flag, asking, 'What does that even mean?' I explained that it was a crown symbolizing the threefold authority of the Vicar of Christ as Universal Teacher, Universal Lawmaker and Universal Judge of the Catholic Church, whereupon his smile evaporated. After a very uncomfortable silence, the Holy Father said, 'That thing has to go'."

Artists from around the world were asked to submit proposals for a new flag design, and a selection committee of cardinals was created to evaluate the proposals. "It was quite challenging," they told reporters at this morning's news conference, "but we think we have been successful in finding the design that captures our vision of the papacy in the 21st century. It is sure to become a powerful tool in the work of the New Evangelization."

The creator of the new flag, an Italian artist by the name of Pagliaccio, was visibly moved as he unveiled his work to a crowd of breathless reporters:

New Vatican Flag