Cardinal Marx Clarifies the German Position

A Synodal Glossary

With the 2015 Synod on the Family upon us, Catholic faithful around the world are braced for the deluge of text about to be ceremoniously dumped upon them. Unfortunately, much of this text will be composed in a dialect not entirely familiar to all readers. To assist in the work of interpreting these texts - such as the English translation of Pope Francis' opening address - the following Synodal Glossary is provided.

(Note: This Synodal Glossary is by no means exhaustive, and may be updated at any point in the future. Also, suggestions for additional entries may be posted below in the comment section.)

deaconess n. (ˈdē-kən-əs) 1. (archaic) a woman charged with administering immersion baptism to nude female catechumens in the early Church [defunct]; cf. Romans 16:1. 2. (modern) a woman given administrative power in the hierarchy of the Church [fantasy].

deposit of faith n. (dĭ-pŏz′ĭt əv fāth) 1. (archaic) The body of revealed truth contained in Sacred Scripture and Holy Tradition proposed by the Church for belief by the faithful. 2. (modern) see > deposit of life 2. 

deposit of life n. (dĭ-pŏz′ĭt əv līf) 1. (archaic) The apostolic life, i.e. that manner of living observed in the Holy Apostles and the Saints of the Church. 2. (modern) a. The manner of living observed in any self-identified 'spiritual' person (see > People of God). b. A source of revelation equal to and possibly surpassing that contained in Sacred Scripture and Tradition. 

family n. pl. (făm'ə-lē) 1. (archaic) A group of persons related by marriage or blood and who typically include a father, mother, and their children. 2. (modern) A group of persons sharing a common interest of mutual and/or self-gratification. 

parrhesia n. (pär-hrāzîä) 1. (archaic) The boldness to defend the truth of the Christian faith before secular political and/or pagan religious authorities. 2. (modern) The boldness to speak one's mind, especially when doing so requires contradicting Sacred Scripture or established Church teaching. 

People of God n. (ˈpē-pəl əv ˈgäd) 1. (archaic) The communion of all those made holy by the grace of Christ, esp.: a. The Catholic faithful on earth, the imperfectly justified in purgatory and the perfectly justified in heaven. b. The union of men united by the profession of the same faith and by participation in the same Sacraments under the direction of their lawful pastors especially of the one representative of Christ on earth, the Pope. 2. (modern) All those who self-identify as 'spiritual' but not necessarily 'religious'.

renewal n. (ri-ˈnü-əl) 1. (archaic) a process resulting in a return to an original condition. 2. (modern) a process resulting in something never before seen.

Salus Animarum n. (sä-ləs änē-m'ärəm) lit. "salvation of souls" 1. (archaic) The facilitation of the attainment of the ultimate end of human life, i.e. the beatific vision in heaven. 2. (modern) The facilitation of a feeling of inner peace and self-satisfaction. 

shepherd n. (shĕp′ərd) lit. "herder of sheep" 1. (archaic) One who cares for and guides a group of people, as a minister or teacher. 2. (modern) One who satisfies the desires of those entrusted to his care.

The Fruit of Dialogue

Catholics of San Francisco, Meet Bishop Sanderson

Dear Catholics of San Francisco,

It has come to my attention that you are rather upset with Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone and the demands he is making upon Catholic schools in your archdiocese. Your recent letter addressed to His Holiness Pope Francis, in which you respectfully ask him to replace the Archbishop, gives powerful witness to the overwhelming divergence between the Archbishop's understanding of the Catholic faith and your own. Among those who signed the letter were Frank and Diane Pitre, who said that they hoped the letter would serve to get someone's attention. Well, I'm pleased to report that it has!

I have it on good authority that there's someone who would like very much to meet with you in the spirit of charity to discuss your shared values: Bishop Jason Sanderson. Below, I reproduce his special invitation to all who would like to experience the respect, inclusion and freedom of conscience which you so desire. I've highlighted those bits which seem most congruent with your own vision of what it means to be Church.

***

His Excellence Bishop Jason Sanderson

Greetings in the Name of Christ!

Thank you for taking the time to inquire about our Church.

The Liberal Catholic Church is unlike many of the churches you have encountered and yet we are very similar to them. We are founded upon the Gospel of Love as taught us by our Lord and approach our mission to the World from that perspective and value the uniqueness of each individual. We honour and preserve both our Apostolic Succession and our Apostolic Teachings, but realise that these are ever growing and ever evolving teachings that call upon each generation to look at anew. We try to keep pace with the ever expanding knowledge of the universe that science provides and use that knowledge to better understand God's revelations to humanity.

To that end, we do not demand of our members a rigid conformity to a set of dogmas, but instead appreciate the fact that each person will have their own perspective. We are an open and inclusive church, heeding the words of Christ who calls to 'all who are weary and heavy laden' and welcome all those who approach the Lord's table with reverence and respect. We value equality and the stability of tradition and intellectual freedom.

We are also an active church, knowing that we best serve Christ when we serve others. From orphanages and schools in the various countries of Africa, to hospice and outreaches in the churches of the United States and elsewhere, as well as the simple, yet profound expression of God's love in our day to day lives, we put into practice the call of the risen Christ to go into the world and proclaim the Gospel to all.

Thank you once again for giving us the opportunity to share our message with you!

Sincerely,

+Jason 'Wolfman' Sanderson

Presiding Bishop

Liberal Catholic Church International

***

P.S. Besides being a bishop of the Liberal Catholic Church, +Sanderson is also:

A beer aficionado:

A collector of carefully hand-crafted monster movie t-shirts:

And the proud owner of an impressive assortment of fine sacred tobaccos and ceremonial turkey-feather fans:

In case you're still not convinced of the man's sincerity, he was also a semi-professional wrestler:

Catholics of San Francisco, if you don't like the archbishop you have, there's no reason you shouldn't have the bishop you deserve.

The Silence of the Bishops

I'll see Matthew Archbold's snarky agitprop and raise him one tasteless but nonetheless perversely appropriate internet meme:

Vatican Librarian Discovers Pre-Conciliar Magisterium

(Vatican City) Vatican officials confirmed reports today that a librarian has discovered a large number of ancient handwritten and crudely printed texts containing what appears to be pre-Conciliar "magisterial teachings."

The Magisterium of the Catholic Church, consisting of 16 conciliar documents, the 1992 Catechism and the various letters, exhortations and encyclicals of all six popes, is the basis for the faith of the world's 1.2 billion Catholics. If authentic, the sensational find could push back the origins of the Catholic Church decades, if not centuries.

Project leader Msgr. Culetto said researchers have only begun to explore the 52 miles of shelving discovered last week when a librarian stumbled upon a sealed doorway behind the bookcase in his office. "Many of the texts appear to be written in a very crude form of Italian," said Culetto, "so we have high hopes that they can be deciphered." But he warned that it could take years before any texts are released to the public, assuaging fears that the discovery could upset plans for the 2015 Synod. "All the documents appear to have been written long before 1958, so we can be certain that they don't contain anything relevant to the life of the Church today," said Culetto.

Of Tending Sheep

Tend My sheep.

It's an important passage from the Gospel of St. John, and one which has been given a new meaning under the exegesis of Pope Francis and the 'Age of Mercy' which, with the assistance of the modern Mystics of Mercy such as Cardinal Walter Kasper, he appears intent to let dawn upon the Catholic Church. The sheep, we are told, are those 'on the peripheries,' who have been cast out of society - particularly Catholic society - and it is the duty of every good shepherd to go out to them, to care for them, and bring them back to the fold.

Why sheep? Well, sheep are herding animals. They generally feel safe in herds, and are easy enough to handle in large groups. But when one gets separated from the flock, the lamentable and sometimes positively shocking stupidity of sheephood comes to the fore, and they become very frightened and utterly incapable of helping themselves. I say this as one who spent a season herding sheep in southern Ireland. Though they are lovable, their reputation for stupidity is well-deserved.

Our Lord is, of course, drawing a parallel between sheep and people, and it is a comparison He makes in several places in the Gospel. Not particularly flattering, but nonetheless accurate as far as analogies go. One need only think, for example, of the many thickets of heresy in which our Protestant friends have caught themselves, with little chance of getting free without assistance from above, to see the point being made here.

But notice again the words of Our Lord:

Tend My Sheep.

Notice that He didn't say, "Tend Jehosaphat's sheep," or "Tend thy neighbor's sheep," or even simply "Tend the sheep," but rather: Tend My sheep.

The assumption here is that, like actual sheep, those who belong to the fold of Christ and find themselves, for whatever reason, separated from it want very much to return to it and the safety it provides. Generally speaking, real sheep, after calling out in distress, will allow their shepherd to calm them, to remove the thorny vines into which they have tangled themselves, and to guide them back to the flock. Somewhere in their tiny sheep brains, they understand that they need the help offered to them by the shepherd. They are, after all, his sheep.

I would love to say that this is also the case with humans, that all people, deep down, are calling out to the Good Shepherd to save them from the thicket of sin and self-deception. Alas, this is where the parable breaks down.

The fact is that, in the herd of humanity, there are rogue sheep.

Quite a few of them, actually.

Vatican Airlines Beefs Up In-Flight Security

(Rome) Mistral Air has announced that it will be equipping all machines chartered by the Vatican with a new "No In-Flight Interview" signal.

The new symbol (center)

Representatives of the small Italian airlines informed reporters on Wednesday that the new signal, which is to join the familiar "No Smoking" and "Fasten Seatbelts" signs and remain illuminated at all times, would be installed immediately in all the machines in their fleet. While declining to comment on whether the change had been requested by the Vatican, a spokeswoman of the airlines reported that the cost of the refitting was being covered by a donor who wished to remain anonymous. In the unfortunate event of an interview occuring despite the new restriction, she said, rosaries would automatically drop from the overhead area.

Tradition, New and Improved!

The Diocese of Orange in California, U.S.A. recently received a $20 million donation from an anonymous parishioner. It will be used to help fund the planned multimillion-dollar renovation of the 34-acre campus of Christ Cathedral, a building formerly known as the Crystal Cathedral, which was recently acquired by the diocese. While reading about the extraordinary donation, I came across the following paragraph in an article by Chris Haire, a staff writer for the Orange Country Register:

The $20 million does not have any specific uses attached to it, but it must be used for the renovation of the campus, which, at more than 50 years old, is showing its age and needs to be altered to adhere more closely to Catholic tradition.

That last bit caught my attention. I was already vaguely familiar with the architectural qualities of the building from the stories published back when the property was first acquired. How, I wondered to myself, did architects plan on altering what has been described by critics as a compound composed of "cement cubes, glass boxes, crazy shapes and confused spaces" so as to make it "adhere more closely to Catholic tradition"? Short of razing it to the ground, that is? My curiosity piqued, I went in search of the renovation plans.

Here are some highlights:

Well, this just screams "Catholic tradition," doesn't it? I especially appreciate the Stations of the Cross panels. Can you say 8th century diptych?

Rumor has it that the team of Eucharistic Ministers will be equipped with a fleet of white and gold Segways to collect donations and distribute Holy Communion. Just like in the Middle Ages.

Vatican Unveils New Flag

Old Vatican Flag

(Vatican City) In a move which has stunned vexillologists around the world, the Vatican announced today that a new flag will soon be flying over the city. While an official statement regarding the reason for the dramatic change has yet to be made, it is rumored that the old flag, which bore the image of the papal tiara and the keys of St. Peter, was seen as too "triumphalistic" by Pope Francis.

Sources inside the papal household report that the Holy Father made the decision soon after discovering what the triple crown symbolizes. "We were sitting in the lounge, sipping Mate, and the Holy Father pointed to the tiara on the Vatican flag, asking, 'What does that even mean?' I explained that it was a crown symbolizing the threefold authority of the Vicar of Christ as Universal Teacher, Universal Lawmaker and Universal Judge of the Catholic Church, whereupon his smile evaporated. After a very uncomfortable silence, the Holy Father said, 'That thing has to go'."

Artists from around the world were asked to submit proposals for a new flag design, and a selection committee of cardinals was created to evaluate the proposals. "It was quite challenging," they told reporters at this morning's news conference, "but we think we have been successful in finding the design that captures our vision of the papacy in the 21st century. It is sure to become a powerful tool in the work of the New Evangelization."

The creator of the new flag, an Italian artist by the name of Pagliaccio, was visibly moved as he unveiled his work to a crowd of breathless reporters:

New Vatican Flag